It's been a while since I've been here but this time for all the right reasons! My disability payments started in October and in January I got my back disability payment. With it, I was able to go out and get things to enable me to do the things I want to at home. Because of the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue and pain syndromes, I tend to spend a lot of time at home. So, I draw and write, think of ways to organize our home and slowly actually do these things!
One of the best things I was finally able to do was to go out and buy a car! We've had to go without one for almost 5 years, having to ask for rides no matter where we had to go and depend on everyone for almost every aspect of our lives. Now we can be almost independant and it feels so good!
Another thing to bless our world is my oldest son has moved home to Oklahoma after an absence of 2 and 1/2 years. It's been a little crazy getting used to a full house again, but I'd rather have my son here than not.
I guess I'm saying if you think positively, keep positive thoughts ever running in your mind, and push out the negativity from your mind and lives, things will work out! You've got to take every positive thing that happens in your world, no matter how small, as a step forward!
I see blogs on here blaming the government, the illnesses people have, the families you have and even pot shots at people who are in the same situation....putting the reason why you haven't gotten help on everyone and everything but who is truly the reason.
You've got to do everything you can, call and write everyone you can, ASK for help from places that may not seem the 'right' place to go and always have faith things will work out. I'm not saying this venture will be an easy one...you will have to be humble and accept the help that IS out there. You can't simply put ONE letter up on one site and leave it at that. Push for your life...don't let things bring you down for long...think of your families and how your actions affect them and how positive they will feel about their lives.
I've had problems since I was a child, gone thru things no one should go thru, and this last life venture has gone on since 1997. I lapsed into self loathing, self hatred, and blame on the world. One day I realized I had to look deep inside and see what really was at the core of my problems...and found it was ME. The common denominator was ME! If I wanted my life to change, I was the one who had to make the effort to change...I could only use my past experiences for so long as excuses. I'm not saying my life changed overnite, but it did change!
I started doing for me!! Your children, your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend, your friends can only stand by you and support you. IF you're not happy or content with who you are, how can they be? I have had to take the illnesses thrust upon me as a good thing...they taught me to relax, quit pushing so hard on myself, and never give up. Those diseases taught me how to live life at a less than perfect level and take the steps back and make them into baby steps forward...ever forward.
So, is my life perfect? Hell no! Am I rich in financial ways? No. Do I have love in my life? Lord yes. I am rich in ways that truly matter and you too can be that way too. Never give up...every experience we go thru in life has positive lessons to be learned. Sometimes we have to look extremely hard for them, but they are there!! So, in closing I can only say this. Positive thinking DOES work. Pushing the negative out of your life WILL change your world...even if those people are friends or family. You have to do for YOU!! Just KEEP the FAITH and blessings will be put upon you.
hi just2sweet: I read your story and had to write to you.I too suffer with MS almost six years now. I cannot work because of the ms. But i cannot get disability or any other help because my husband works.I thank god every day for my husband because he is the only one working. Our bills keep adding up and we just take one day at a time. thank you so much for your story. patty magliochetti
I'm a single mother of 2 boys, ages 14 and 23. My youngest lives with me, while my oldest lives in another state. I was re-diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis...December 2006. Originally diagnosed in 1997, I worked thru the many problems this disease afforded me, w/o insurance or a doctor per se...until an enjoyable yet extremely physically hard job brought about, little by little, regularly occuring symptoms of MS. I quit that job after over 2 years in hopes that I might be able to go back to work after a short break. I did do so, working in the mental health field. Again, loving the work and the people, but early rising and walking to and from work, brought on more health issues and after my brother passed away soon after beginning this job, I decided something was bound to give and I didn't want it to be me. I applied for SSI and disability, started back with medical help, and went on medication for my symptoms.
As of August of 2008, I was finally approved for disability and my payments will begin soon. I was asked to have a payee and am lucky enough to have a good friend who agreed to take on that responsibility. You do find out who your true friends are at the most opportune moments! I know many changes will happen in my life...some of them frustrating and confusing..but mostly for the good. I actually think I will be better off than I have ever been in my life! Besides that, changes are something I've become ALL too accustomed to.
The one thing that keeps changing though, is my diagnosis~Doctors simply cannot decide what exactly it is that I have! I understand because my symptoms can point to many things, so for now, I guess I will have to go along with the ones Social Security has given me....Fibromyalgia, Severe Depression, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Chronic Pain Syndrome. I guess it really doesn't matter what name it has....The symptoms exist every day !
I try very hard to keep a smile on my face, remain as positive as I can for my sons. Neither of them complain and somehow still manage to worry about ME!! My youngest still rarely asks for anything and if he wants something, he saves the money he gets for birthdays, etc for it. He recently got his disability payment and what did he buy? A few video games and movies. He doesn't think it's any big deal to let me use a bit of his $$ to get things needed around home or to pay for a few bills until my own payments begin! He helps around the home...not w/o complaints mind you..he STILL is a teen!...but he generally is so good natured and happy, I cannot believe my luck as far as sons are concerned. His older brother is exactly the same...both being glad they were raised by me and in a non material world. Do you know how much I wish I could have raised them WITH those little things? But I'm glad they know unconditional love, if not anything else.
My oldest calls all the time wondering how I am, despite any troubles he may have. He even wants to go into physical therapy so he can take care of me!! So, I am so thankful I can give him something he so deserves...a trip home for Christmas!! He says he doesn't want me to do it, cause I need the money so much but little does he understand how much of a gift it will be for ME and his brother!
Many of the things I've written of earlier are still the same...I don't work outside the home, I still haven't taken up photography, I don't have a car and my assistance still consists of housing and food stamps. I know I will have higher bills after my disability pmt's come in, and more than likely my food stamps will be cut. BUT I do believe I will almost like having to take care of most of these things without the additional help. It will be the first time in a very long time I feel almost 'normal'!
Don't get me wrong...life is and will be frustrating still. Having additional funds coming in will not change my health or the new and old symptoms that come along with it. Tears will still flow freely from time to time. I will still feel 'stranded', alone, and frustrated from time to time. Yet, I still must keep positive thoughts going thru my mind and in my life. If I do so, positive things cannot help coming into my world and the prayers I hold for others will have that much more of a positive outcome.
So, if you need an ear, someone to talk to, or even just a place to gripe and get those feelings out....please don't hesitate to write. It may take me a minute but I will do my best to help out in whatever way I can.
